It has been far too long since Ben or I have written. We have both felt the need to many times throughout the months it has been since we last posted anything, but life has not had quite enough margin to even pause and reflect, let alone actually write down those reflections.
But it’s time to share an update on what is happening in the world of team UpStream.
I am on my first clinical rotation for physical therapy school. I am living in Joplin Missouri during the week and heading home on the weekends. I am working in acute care and learning more everyday. I finally love what I’m doing, but I deeply miss home. I miss Ben, and our students, and friends…. Real friends who really know me. It’s a rewarding, yet extremely challenging season for me..
And Ben is in the midst of what is quite possibly the craziest time of the year for him. School is starting, which means KLIFE, teaching, and DJing (yes I said it, Ben is DJing) are all starting up too. Ben’s days are packed from beginning to end, and they start early and end late. This season is crazy.
Ben and I sometimes feel like we are on different planets, I am exhausted in the evenings and his day is wrapping up at about the time I want to go to bed. Our weekends are packed to the brim with every ounce of KLIFE we can squeeze in, and we try to share my time at home with all of the other people I love and miss. It feels like we don’t have time to come up for air.
But there is grace for this season.
Grace to mess up and figure it out. Grace for the occasional (okay frequent) temper tantrum over feeling tired and alone and disconnected. Grace for the days I crash at 9:30 and Ben isn’t free until 11. Grace for all of the times I have wanted to be present for our students, but couldn’t be. Grace for the moments I feel like I have no idea what is happening in my husband’s world and I am convinced he is clueless about mine. Grace covers all of this, and continually holds us together.
The grace my husband pours out on me in all of my ridiculously weak moments, each time I fail at this wife thing, is incredible. It’s the kind of grace that points right back to Jesus, who continually tells us,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a
He has already paid for all of my sins, all of the ways I miss the mark…
“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9b
What a joy to know that when I am weak the power of Christ is strong in me. Maybe I should be okay with being weak….
This week has already started off hard. I drove to work from Bolivar Monday morning at 6:00 am, I had weird kind of off morning at work, I missed Chick-fil-a day at work, and I found out a patient I evaluated and felt completely hopeful and confident
would heal well passed away Saturday, and the situation
could have possibly been prevented… that patient was one of my favorite patients I had worked with…This week is already not easy…. But there is grace to cover this too. I do not have to be strong or even okay, but I can rest knowing that in my weakness Christ is strong, and in all my sadness He remains the perfect hope. This season… most of this next year…. Will NOT be easy, but it will be an exercise in grace and a deepening of our understanding of God’s continual faithfulness towards us.