Good Grief, Ben and I have been terrible about blogging lately!
Well, I apologize if you were left waiting months for some life changing wisdom…. But you still probably will not find it here today!
This has been a crazy season in the life of TeamUpstream!
It seems that every time we find some sort of rhythm to life, it’s gone about the time we get on beat. Figuring out life and ministry and my seemingly constantly changing Physical Therapy school schedule is not something we have achieved yet this year. Every week we are caught off guard by something new… or by something totally schedules that we forgot about..
I used to be meal planner extraordinaire, I used to make dinner every night, I used to EXERCISE, and I used to be able to keep up with my own planner… Frozen pizzas (thank you Jesus for party pizzas) and falling asleep each night the moment my head hits the pillow have characterized this season.
I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining; Ben and I would not have it any other way. We love this poured out life, but this season has forced me to reckon with the reality that two seasons will never look the same, and they often change before I am comfortable. This has left me feeling somewhat nostalgic lately, missing some of those sweet seasons, or regretting some of the mistakes I made in some more turbulent times. I think the hardest realization for me to deal with is that people I dearly love will constantly be moving in and out of my life.
The people I navigated living for Jesus in high school with, are not the same people I experienced deep community and accountability with in college, and they are not the same people I have walked through my first year and a half of marriage with. It even seems to change from semester to semester since the beginning of college.. Now, a few people have remained of course, but I miss the people who have moved on. I even miss the way my relationships with the people who have remained were at one time or another…
But thanks to social media I get to keep a close eye on (creep on) those people I miss, and I have found that most of them have moved on to faithfully serve Jesus in all kinds of wonderful ways! Many of them are married, some have kiddos, some are in grad school or seminary or at different universities, others are teaching and loving students like Jesus did, some are on staff at churches, many are professionals who are living for Jesus in the work place—they are on mission all over the globe! And though I miss the sweetness of life together, I know it is better for them to go, to carry the Gospel to new pockets of the world, even if those pockets are in the same city it is better that they carry the Gospel into new groups of people.
Open-handedness is not always my specialty, but I think the Lord is using this season, that looks much like a Missouri Spring, to remind me that He is and will always be the only constant in this life. People will always be coming and going, and I will cherish them while I get to hold them close, but I know that their purpose in light of eternity is much greater than for me to enjoy their friendship. I cannot pretend to be about the Gospel if I am not for sending.
Anything that I cling to more closely than the cross is an idol.
So now as Spring semester begins tomorrow and I start yet another new season, my prayer is that I will hold up the Gospel above all else, that I will let go of my desire for everything to stay the same, and walk gracefully, rather than kicking and screaming, into the chaos that is a brand new season.
Bring it on Spring 2016.